These guys are so expressive....especially when it comes to the YMCA! We decided it would be a great idea to put the boys into a nice faith-based nursery school to get some interaction with other kids, without mom. Little did we know nursery school follows the same schedule as the academic school year and there are CRAZY long waiting lists for next year.
So....in the interim, we decided to join the YMCA. A great solution for the summer right? The kids get a new activity in the "Kids Zone", I get a workout to help me stay balanced and it is a air-conditioned activity. I even started thinking...humm...maybe I will use that time at the gym to get ready for the day and actually blow dry my hair at their facilities and be ready to tackle the day.
Well..it's been two weeks and it sucks. School is out and there is probably like 30 kids in there at once with 3-4 adults. It is just a holding cell for kids.
I hate them being away from me. We all have separation anxiety - I think mine is just as bad! Everyone keeps assuring me that they (we) will get used to it. I know it takes time but in the meantime, how do you get used to your kids saying in a anxious sad voice on the way there : "No Y- ma ma- no Y" "Don't like". Then, when I drop them off it is shear TERROR. They are okay for a few minutes, then they just seem to get lost in the sea of kids. They also seem to panic and are freaked out they are in a place without me with strangers. I guess that would be scary for any kid that is not used to being without their mom. It kills me and I hate it. I thought maybe after two weeks it would get easier but it hasn't. I almost think - is it worth it? Today was better but it still was not fun.
Here are just a few of the weird random separation anxiety thoughts I have to give you an idea :
-What if their allergies flare up because of to many dust mites?
-Why is that kid in this room that is coughing up a lung?
-What if they get sick from these other people - how am I going to deal with two sick kids at once again?
-Are they giving them enough eye contact and nurture?
-What if some weird freak takes them?
and it goes...on and on....... During my work-out I continiously stare down the hall where they are....trying to watch every move of everyone walking in that direction. Even though there are like three walls between the cardio machines and the Kids Zone. Crazy - I know.
For the boys to just bust out in tears without me there to comfort them is the hardest. Aghhh! I know I am the one that has to over come the separation anxiety first and lead the boys....because who on earth wants their kids to ever be terrified?
When I left my boys with the nanny for the first time when I went back to work, I felt physically ill. It really hurt. I imagined the worse. Its still hard to leave them, but I dont worry as much.
ReplyDeleteThey love their nanny (which makes me jealous) but still get upset in the first few minutes when I leave (which in a perverse way makes me happier). They are smiling and happy when I get home and seem healthy.
I started to take them to large play groups with lots of 'infectious' kids about 6 months ago. They did each get a cold early on, but it seems to have strengthened them, since they have been fine since.
I dont think you will ever stop worrying (I havent) but it will be less of a physical ache as time goes on.