Nicolas and Christian: Fathers Day

What a happy- happy - proud dad! This was our second father's day with the boys! What a difference a year makes. The boys kept running up to Ken and giving him hugs and kisses. We had a really low key day this year and Ken got to teach the boys a few cool activities that would make any dad proud. He is such a great dad.He does everything for these guys and brings a nice "calmness" to our daily whirlwind of life. All he wanted for Father's Day was to be with us and to be able to watch some golf while the boys took their snooze. I made him a video of all the special moments and photos I captured the past two years to music. It was a hit! After the boys took their nap, we headed to the park for all the exploring and teaching which included : hockey, baseball, seashells and teeter-tatter. (Is that the right spelling)? Thanks Ken for always being there and doing so much for us! I love that you simply just LOVE your family so much and you can see that in your eyes!

I do feel bad though because I was moody in the morning - I swore not to be but Father's Day has been bitter-sweet for me the past two years. A few weeks before the boys were born, my dad suddenly passed away. It's all those dreams I had of my dad coming to see the boys, play with the boys, fish with the boys were gone in a second. He was so excited about our pregnancy and came over all the time during my pregnancy to keep me company while I was on bed rest. My relationship with my dad really developed over the past 10 years and I felt so close to him those last years. I always visited him and stayed with him during the summers when I was younger and in college but once I moved back to Florida, I really got a chance to have a father/daughter relationship that I am so thankful for. It just sucks that he isn't here.

I can remember one of my last conversations with him, it was right after we had that New Baby Class at the hospital and they had educated us on SIDS and second hand smoke. My dad had planned on helping me when the boys were going to be born, he didn't work so our plan was he was going to be here everyday. I called him in a panic after the class and said neurotically...."Dad, you have to keep several sets of clothes at my house that we can wash because if you go outside to have a cigarette - when you come back in- you can't hold the baby unless you shower and change clothes. It increases the chances of SIDs - okay"?! I didn't want to hurt his feelings about it and he sweetly said to me very calmly " Jod - I will just quit, I need to anyway and what a perfect time - I am going to quit for the babies, you and me!" Two days later he passed away from a massive heart attack.

So this year it was like my heart was being tugged at in all directions. I was filled with joy for Ken, our family, filled with joy for all our grandpa's and filled with joy from all the great, funny memories of my dad. Not having him here physically, getting to hug us and talk to us is the part that really tugs my heart the other way. You always wish you had more time, to say those important things you didn't get to say that you MEANT to say. I was more moody about it this year because reality is setting in and I am not as much on survival mode now that the boys are getting older. He really isn't here and really isn't here to have dinner with us on such a special day. It really hit me in the morning when I actually went to pick up the phone after I got dressed and I thought - Let me call Dad and see what is going on.

So Dad.... I know how much you loved me and how much you loved Kenny and that you were so excited to see him as a dad! The pictures below of Ken and the Seashells remind me of the first time you took me to the beach! Traditions and memories will still be passed on, even though you are not here. I love you so much, more than ever and we all miss you so much. I miss your fishing stories, I miss your boat stories, I miss your "Mr. McGoo" humor, I miss feeling your beard when you reached in to give me a hug, I miss your cologne and I miss your calls saying : "Hey Jod- whats going on"? When you look down on us Dad, smile because you can see that I married a wonderful man who is such a sweet loving sole, who loves his family and who will pass on so many of the things you once loved (especially fishing!) :)

Ken....you are a role model father. You put your children's needs and your families need before yours always without complaining, you give them hugs, kisses, you teach them, you pray with them, listen to them, laugh with them and just love them. You are teaching our boys all of the things that are so important in life. You are setting the character foundation for the boys so that they too will grow to be kind, loving, successful individuals and for that, I can never thank you enough!