SLEEP PLEASE!!

I can't stand that these guys have been waking up between 5:20-6:00 AM. I would say since we got home from Christmas it is averaging about 6 am. I thought it was because they should transition to no naps because maybe they are getting too much sleep? (Not possible in Jody's world). Even though they take a nap, they still go to bed fairly early instead of staying up late BUT they just get up early. Well, yesterday proved my theory wrong. What the hell!! Ken took them to Busch Gardens Theme park, no nap, they stayed until 4 pm and were falling asleep at the dinner table. I was SURE they would sleep in. Nope 5:30 Christian was awake saying, "Is it morning time"? These are the words we wake up too each day. Plus they have colds which also has been going on back to back since xmas so maybe that has contributed to it. Or because we cut the binkies (pacifiers) so they don't have that sucking soothing process. Now, I am not saying I get up each day at 5:30 because Ken does it most days however for me to fall back asleep knowing I have to get up at 6:30 my mind races.. races and I fall back asleep for about 15 minutes then I am more miserable. If I know I have a few more hours like on the weekends, I can go back to sleep at the drop of a hat.

The most torturous part is I have had a ton of resume work so I thought I would try a new schedule for myself and get up around 5:55-6:00 am everyday that I put into place last week. Either for some peace and quiet before the day starts, a nice cup of coffee, play on the computer, or get some work done before the rat race begins.

Now, most moms reading this are probably thinking, suck it up I get up each day at that time. However, my plead of pity is this. I take my "happy pills" a.k.a. my mood stabilizers at night that I have to take or else I would be a complete WHACK JOB. They keep me mentally stable. I haven't had a depressive episode since the boys were born when I had Post Partum and this medicine keeps my moods stable. Lets me live a happy mentally healthy life (now I am not saying I don't get pissy or irrational because I do, everyone does). My point is that people with mood disorders, if they are going to live a happy productive life they need sleep, workouts and balance. If you have a mood disorder you know this 100%! Unfortunately my fabulous little pills that keep me stable also make me a SLUG in the morning. I move like one, I look like something from the war in the morning and I feel like I have cob webs in my brain. This is normal until I have about a half hour to adjust. So, this early morning before 6am nonsense has BEEN torture! Pure torture! I think Christian is going to be our morning bird, he gets that from Ken. Nicolas is going to be our morning sleeper like me. He loves sleeping if his brother would let him.

As soon as I hear those little sweet voices at 5 am, I do say a prayer..."Lord reduce the meanness in me keep me stable, happy and help me SUCK IT UP"!! Ken, normally is great at getting up with them is sick of this early business too. This morning I got up with the kids and he must of just woke up and I heard him talking to himself out of habit , "SHHHH, go back to sleep, its not morning"!!! I don't know who the heck he was talking to? He has done this a few times lately and I can't help but laugh because I know he is doing it half in his sleep, half out of habit of what we say to them each day.

He came home Friday night and said, "I ordered a "light" alarm for the boys today".
Me: Why would you do that- no alarm for the boys are you crazy".
Ken: No, its a light alarm, the light goes on for them at a certain time so they know only then can they get up!!!
Me: Ohhhh, very cool but it better not wake them up more or it is going in the T.R.A.S.H !!

Lack of sleep isn't the best for my mental well-being hence mommy's little naps that give me my perk up with no guilt and help me catch up. When you have twins you get POUNDED in the morning with questions and all the same questions. All my foggy brain can mutter out is ""Yep", "Please wait" "No" "Quiet Voices". The questions that pound us every single morning are:

• Is it morning yet?




• Mommy can you change me?




• Mommy can I wear my batman /superman PJ's




• What are we doing today?




• Can I have something to drink?




• Mom help me go to the bathroom?




• Whats for breakfast?




• Mom where is my "certain" toy?




• I left my stuff animal upstairs, mom can you get it?




• Do we have school today?




• Is Daddy staying home today?




• MOMMMMMM HELLLPP (loudly...oh so loudly).

If my sweet little handsome men would just sleep until 6:30-7:00 I could get up at 6 am , enjoy the quiet, take a shower in peace and do whatever I wanted for me. Maybe my husband and I could even have a cup of coffee together or a conversation without interruption without being dead tired at 9 pm. I know, it's not their fault, they just want to be with us and don't get me wrong, I love hearing their voices, their voices of happiness but for the Love of God...I want quiet in the morning, or at least until 6:30 am. Oh well, part of being a mom. If this is my biggest problem, than I am and should be VERY THANKFUL, but I can still growl in the morning can't I? Nicolas and Christian enjoying a quiet moment on their choice of time (notice they chose the children' bible...humm is god telling me something? Suck it up Jody

Ever Feel This Way?

I don't know which is worse, me dropping a small fortune on the boys shoes this week because their little feet are growing so fast or BEING THIS LADY BELOW? E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y ! Incase you can't read this it says "The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is PARENTS". I seriously have been in this exact position MANY times but instead one stands on my butt while the other sits on my shoulders!! GHEEEZ.

Bikes! Bikes! and More Bikes!

Well our little guys are doing their first fundraiser. It is a "TRIKE - A - THON" for St. Jude's Hospital Cancer Research. It is such a cute little event. Their school is blocking off the parking lot and all of the 3-4 year old's bring their tricycles or bikes,they ride around for a certain period of time. I think it is hysterical because now all of the moms are asking .."Do your kids ride a bike already to each other? Are they supposed to?" My one friends had me laughing so hard because this morning she said "Jody- can Nicolas and Christian ride a bike ~ are our kids supposed to be riding bikes?? I'm so embarrassed my kids can't ride bikes!"Rapid fire coming at me, almost on break of mass hysterics!! I actually love the little trikes, I think they are adorable, I almost wish we didn't by-pass those because they just went to big bikes. I think it is a cool event because it gives us information to read to the boys to teach them about Charity and what it means to help others in need. However, I skipped over the first lesson and I explained it to the boys myself and I realized I better stay on their plan talking to the kids because.....

Christian said:

"Mom, I think I am going to keep some money in my pocket I get and I should put some saved in my bank". OH LORDY SON!!! We are giving...not TAKEN....

Anyways, other than my child thinking he can pocket some cash flow... and become a white collar criminal, we would love it if you could or know anyone who would want to help support the boys in their very first fund raising! Any tiny amount will help if you are able. Donations can be make on their personal pages at:

www.mytrikeathon.org/nicolas or www.mytrikeathon.org/chughes

Faith Begins At Home

This post is turning out to be something "a tad more deep" than I expected. Ken and I are trying our best to set strong Christian values in the boys. By doing simple things like praying before meals, bed, what compassion is, praying out loud when family or friends need prayer, explaining why we pray to God and Jesus, who they are (that part gets tricky). VERY TRICKY. I have always had a strong faith but as an adult I am realizing more and more what it is to have faith. Yes, I have been angry at god but now I don't get angry with him, I just accept it as it is face value when something is happening and although I still get feeling of being scared and anxious I just pray and I am given the strength to get through it (especially 2 whining children)! Tonight Ken and I are going to a study where the boys go to school on a parenting class called "Faith Begins At Home". THANK GOD BECAUSE I NEED IT. For one simple reason...explaining death to my children at 3. Which I didn't get a answer for in the class (I am finishing up the blog next morning).

So this blog was supposed to be about our silly fish.....see in the picture below... this is me. Happy at the fair, a mom holding a million traditional "FAIR" items for their enduring children and family. We have a giant lemonade, cotton candy, a giant blow up sword, a normal sword, my purse and yes...2 FISH. Just what we need in this house. But my husband loves games and we never thought we would win but the boys were the ones that actually won, so it was exciting. It was a great day with Grandma and our family, although I was struggling with bronchitis again and the crowd was kind of scary, we still had a ton of laughs and fun! The boys finally decided on the names of their fish "Oki and Tower". It took some time to get those names and initially it was "Flower and Tall Feet". When we won the fish as I was handed a bag with 2 little live creatures and my "maternal thing" kicked in. I had one simple question to the fair guy-"What do I do" ? His response, "Feed them, you have 24 hours to feed them". But I was not going to take chance of these Fish croaking on me because we were all getting attached and I did not want to have the conversation about death with the boys again.

So, we put them in the little porta-potty in the back of the car on the way home (yes they began their life with us in the toilet - probably not a good thing). Nicolas was very concerned they would get "bumped in the bag back there or bump into each other and get hurt". But in the toilet they stayed...... So I ran out and got them some food after they went to bed. They were not looking so great. We had this list of instructions- CRAZY instructions:

Temp water of 70-75 (which we measured with a meat thermometer).

Soak food for 1 minute in water then put in bowl.

Get a water filter for oxygen- if they are gulping at top they need oxygen (new water).

Change water if it is cloudy.

Distilled Water.

I have to admit, I get very confused with filtered water, spring water, distilled water. I thought it was one and the same. So I put them in warm spring water. They started GULPING at the top. As you see in the photo below it didn't look good from the start. I couldn't keep the water from not being cloudy and every time I looked at them they were gulping for air. So all night all I could think of was they were chocking and what a crappy way to die. Ken and I were determined!! I had Faith these guys were going to last a long time. You see the last time I had fish was about 11 years ago when ken and I were dating and we won 2 fish. Having the heart I do, I cried and said a prayer when they died and got flushed 2 weeks later, so I said, "NO MORE FISH".

Meet Oki and Tower

Day 2: Ken went out and got them a nice little tank, filter, blue lighting over them, distilled water and Ken even went to our back patio to get some cute little rocks . Again, we were determined!! Yes all for fair fish. Ummm...they croaked within a few minutes of putting them in the water. SHOOT!!! They they were floating dead. The rocks with chemicals from our yard? Wrong water? Shock to their system? So I quickly covered them with a towel. When the boys asked what they were doing..."umm sleeping, we need to keep the towel on them to sleep". Boys noticed they were not there early the next day so I quickly said..."Oh they had to go to the fishy hospital to get their spots removed, they were not feeling great but they will be home later today". Ken ran out fast and got 2 more. Aghh... all because we didn't want to explain death and because the boys were so happy they had little pets. Now these fish looked normal except boys noticed they were smaller and no more spots. I just blew it off and said " oh the doctor must of fixed them and look how happy and bright they are". We had one little fish that really enjoyed swimming at the bottom. I thought maybe that was normal?


Day 3: All is good. Boys happy, parents happy, grandma happy (yes we give grandma daily updates as she is part of this dilemma and I think getting a little attached herself). Then last night the swimmer at the bottom- died! SHOOT! One little guy left , swimming all alone.


Day 4: Boys immediately notice and asked where the one went. I have debated telling them the truth but when my grandma passed away this year and when I slipped and told them they could die if they kept sticking metal things in electrical circuit ( I know horrible thing to say- I over reacted and was scared) I got slammed with questions like:


"What does die mean"?
Why did she die"?
"Why do things go to heaven when they die"?
"God is in heaven- why do they have to live with god"?
"Can we see God"?
"Why doesn't god come here with them"?
"Can we go to gods house in heaven"
"Will you go to god if you get real sick"?
"Will we"?
"Am I going to die"?
"When"
"Will we have to go to god away from you" Then finally what I expected because they didn't understand: "I don't like god, he's not nice". So that took some explaining and gave me a migraine!!

So when the boys asked this morning where the fish went, I was going to tell them the truth but I had a flashback of all those questions and I panicked and said "Fishy is sleeping in the rock, you just can't see him". Yes, we are going to go get another fish until I can figure this out but it has become more of a process for me - yes it has become more of how do I explain death again to the boys without them being mad, sad. Even though that too can be a normal reaction to death. It's not about the fish anymore. I am over that part. Isn't that bad? I have faith still, faith this is a conversation that is going to happen and faith god will give me the right answers for a 3 year old. So for now- at 5 pm Weds - day 4 we have one little fish left out of 4. I had faith this little guy would make it but my friend just stopped over who has fish and said..."Nope, sorry Jody- you are going to have to get 2 more fish, this one isn't going to make it through the night". I STILL HAVE FAITH HE WILL!! I also just found out there is a children's book called "Heaven Is For Real" which I will be getting.

Day5: Fishy Still Swimming!!

This is my child

Just now I was playing around on Pinterest because Ken went to bed early and I had some quiet down time. Well...for about 30 minutes then I hurt the cry "mommmmmyyy". It was Christian. His feet were hurting. I rubbed them, rocked him and tried to settle him back in. Once I got back down stairs after he was back asleep, he let out a belt retching scream. It was his feet again. He is experiencing some major growing pains: his knees, legs and now his feet. I finally gave him some Ibuprofen and had him walk around a minute until it subsided.

Then....well.... then I rocked him like a baby. He is my baby. My baby boy. As I was rocking him, he feel asleep on me and I had a rush of thoughts and couldn't let go.

This is my child that I wish would always sleep in my arms forever like when he was a baby, but then it was hard to enjoy as much because it was double time with twins and no sleep. Tonight I couldn't get enough. Seems the case lately.

This is my child that seems so fiesty, tests me to every limit and at times (oh let's be real here- alot of the time) I just need a break but right now in the quiet of the evening my heart feels bigger than it ever has and I don't want to ever let go.

This is my child who the teachers say he is at a gifted level and needs constant stimulation. At first I thought,..oh my kid is smart (found out at 18 months). Nope with that comes a child who needs constant stimulation, a child who when gets bored within 10 minutes of a activity if not challenged hard enough with a extra step, who will try to get my 100% attention with picking fights with his brother or have a tantrum about something.

At times quite honestly this makes me insane and I forget how lucky I am that I have a beautiful smart child but tonight I know that. Tonight I was reminded of his sweet innocence, that he has a natural gift, that it HAS to be my job to stimulate him or find activities to stimulate him. It is what good parents do- they find a way to not be selfish and to put that extra effort into their child. This made me want to rock him longer because I get so mad at him at times because it is non stop activity of questions, talking, fighting but now that he is in my arms so pure and peaceful, all I can do is kiss his head and not let go. I just thank God for blessing me with him, to reduce the meanness in ME when he challenges me ( I think I said that pray 100X today- even have it on my refridge). Tonight, all I want to do is hold and rock him. I just held him for 40 minutes after he fell asleep in my arms in our quiet house, enjoying the silence, not wanting to let go, listening to him breath, feeling his body move and feeling him curl up to me. There is no greater gift from God then that. I need to remember it because.....

This is my child who when he gets super excited and happy, has to ram his fists into my butt or stomach because he doesn't know what to do with the excitement or likes to come and poke my belly or boob which makes me insane. When I was rocking him, I was looking at those same little fingers that normally piss me off but tonight, those sweet little fingers and hands showed their true innocence and their love for their mommy as he had them wrapped around my hand.

Yesterday and today he started adding or subtracting verbally out loud out of nowhere innocently. Yes.... math out of nowhere. This is what I mean, he continues to shock me in so many ways. Yesterday when I asked him during "pretend" play to get me 8 fish when he was out fishing, he came back and said "Mom, I only got you 6". Then I just happened to randomly say.." Well Mr. Fisherman, if I need 8 and you only brought me 6 how many more do I need". Christian just turned and innocently said..."2 mom, I will go get 2 more for 8". He did it again today with other numbers that I couldn't believe. I have no idea what age you are supposed to do this, but I do know not at 3.

This is my child where tonight, I didn't want to let go of rocking him because it doesn't come that often anymore and I miss it. I miss it more than words can ever say. He is my baby boy, my little spit fire that likes to do it his way, EVERYTIME, EVERYDAY but moments like these brings it all back into prospective. He is so freaking smart this one.....he catches everything. Tonight he probably caught a few tears dripping on his head from my eyes because as I was holding him, smelling that dove soap on his skin, I just couldn't stop smiling and prayed to God that Christian always keep pushing his boundaries with me, that he never gives up because that is his strong will and that will make him the success I know he will be. However, I prayed to give me the knowledge to encourage him, to know how to NOT get frustrated so easily and to just plain...well help me not be FRUSTRATED!! I prayed that he will always keep that sweet little smile, that sparkle in his eyes that is so innocent but yet at times so devious. I love you Christian- Coo!

The Rest of Our Trip

Some of these photos are not the best but I really wanted to post them so that I will have the memories of the rest of our vacation.
We took the boys ice skating which was so much fun. We were shocked how long they lasted and by the end of the adventure they actually were able to skate by themselves (holding the chair). Thankfully Ken and I are good skaters because trying to teach a 3 year old to skate was a work out and a challenge!!! I couldn't believe they did single blades because I remember when I was learning, we always had double blades. The key was to prep them they would probably wipe out and let them know it was fine if they fell on the ice since they were padded up, like a game. So when they fell, there was no drama or tears. Now being neurotic and always worried they will get hurt, surprisingly I didn't have any fear, I think because I skated growing up and that they have little kids wear helmets now which I think is hysterical but glad. We have a rink near our house so I am pretty excited we will be able to take them here.Rich got us private box seating, spoiling the boys. We even got a visit from the Mascot!!Rich hooked us up again, being a police officer, we had lots of perks - thanks Rich!! Here he arranged for us to have a little tour of a old caboose after dinner at a little restaurant. This place was HYSTERICAL, it is a very small bar/restaurant that has this back room that looks like a wreck hall and they only serve: spaghetti and meatballs but boy did they have yummy spagetti! Owned by a small family we got very fast service and being with Rich (who even went to the back kitchen to help get the plates of food with the owner - now, this I would consider a perk when you have kids that are hungry and ready to eat)!!A visit to Tanglewood preserve. Christian still trying to determine if this beaver is real or not.Boys checking out a huge turtle that they could pet.Making Brownies with Aunt Di-Di!!Nicolas giving the thumbs up for a incredible vacation get away and thumbs up for being strapped in on the plane on our way home. It was sad our vacation was over but we were happy to be able to come back to sunny Florida. We are hoping this can be a yearly tradition, Christmas in NY!! Thanks to our family for making our trip so special and fun for the boys. I want to recommend anyone flying with little kids, it is not hard like a lot of people say but the key is having a game plan, strategy on how you are going to get through the airport with all the gear. This time we packed light, didn't need a stroller and had our Ipods loaded with games and videos. Bribery of Lolly pops, gum and jelly beans certainly helped eliminate any meltdowns!! Unfortunately our flight times SUCKED getting up at 3:30 for the boys on the way there and not getting home until 12 am New Years eve, making very long travel days but the boys did good!!

Boys Day Out

Today Ken took the boys to a car race and I was home solo!! The time has come when they will be doing more and more things together without me like fishing, golf and such. Makes me kind of sad but it is WONDERFUL having a day to do whatever I wanted. What did I do?

• Ran To the Bank and Post Office


• Spent 2 hours Grocery Shopping (that took WAY to long)


• Unloaded groceries and cleaned out refridge


• Made Chili for dinner


• Did 4 loads of laundry


• Took a shower in peace, not rushed like most days


• Watched a episode of Parenthood


• Drank a cup of coffee in peace


• Took a hour nap, not feeling guilty about it today


• Vacuumed


• Caught up on emails and responded to some potential clients for work


• Now...blogging and going to fold some laundry, drink another cup of coffee and watch a episode of Tori and Dean; Home Sweet Hollywood.

They should be home shortly and I am missing them like CRAZY!! I can't wait to hear that door open and them say "Mommy? Where are you and get blasted with their super hugs" and them tell me 100 miles per minute about their day. 7 hours without them, I am ready for them.

Reindeer and...Rudolph?

Right before we went out to feed Santa's reindeer, Ken ran out to the woods in the back of the house with a red flashlight and EVERYONE in the family ran to the windows saying "Boys..Boys..look Rudolph must be in the back yard"..

Blink- Blink - the red flashlight goes on/off.

"Hurry boys, Santa is here..we have to go put out the reindeer food so he knows to stay here" Nothing like filling your kids with a sense of rush and anxiety right before Xmas...

Blink- Blink red flashlight. Then the household went crazy. Phones being dialed, everyone making the scene of calling to tell all their friends that Santa just landed out in the back woods.

Let me just say Nicolas and Christian RAN to the yard to start sprinkling their food to make sure Rudolph wouldn't leave.

It was one of the funniest things I saw. The boys eyes were as wide as saucers seeing Rudolph's red nose out back in the woods and also I couldn't get out of my head the visual that daddy had a few beers and was way out in the back woods (this property is huge and the woods are way out) with a red flash light in the cold, Ken not knowing if we saw him or not. I just kept laughing and couldn't focus because Ken's sisters were saying.."How long do you think he will stay out there and do that"? Eventually, one of the phone calls was to Ken that we did see Rudolph and to HURRY back. Another yearly tradition. Oh and our creepy Elf On The Shelf, "Chuckles" also somehow made it to NY where we moved him room to room each night.

Christmas Eve

Can we just freeze Christmas at this age?

The boys were so blessed because they were surrounded by so much family and love and essentially they had 3 Christmas's. It was crazy!! Both Ken and I decided not to do a big Xmas this year because this trip was our Xmas but it turned into a big one because we both have huge families on both sides, so the boys celebrated the traditional Christmas Eve with some of his family (which was like a GIGANTIC XMAS for the boys), Christmas Day (Santa) and then when we got home, Santa had visited here..(well.. the Santa from my side of the family). I loved the excitement in their eyes and seeing the smiles, not only from them but all the joy the family got watching! I am just bummed Grandma Judy and Grandma Karen couldn't be with us. I am going to be blogging this week mainly on our vacation because there is so much and I want to be sure the boys have this memory when they are older of this trip! Of course, this year was a "sporty" Christmas as well as "SUPER HERO" .....So different then last year when I wrapped individual ping pong balls and they were excited for that...this year was a tad bit harder because they knew EXACTLY what they wanted. Last year, they could careless, they just liked it was a present. Boys newest cousin ~ "Giavanni" who is just a sweetest little man and peaceful soul. Santa's coming soon...right before boys went to bed. They were so pumped! Grandpa above having a great laugh, just sitting and watching boys

Christian so excited he got his newest "Hess" truck to add to his collection, thanks to "Ro-Ro", as you can see he pummeled her with the biggest hug after he opened it. She gave the boys a new one last year, and this will most likely be a annual gift. She actually goes and waits in line for these as she has given them to the boy's cousins since they were babies (the are now almost 30) and she still gives them each a truck. Aunt Deb in the background, finally sitting down and enjoying a cocktail after cooking up a good 'ol Italian feast.

Not sure who is having more fun with the boys new gift that Uncle Mike gave them? Uncle Mike, Aaron, Rich or the boys? Big boys driving it around room from room...hummmm Mommy having alittle fun after several cocktails once the boys were asleep...let's just say we all had some cocktails that night...celebrating..I think the party went on till 3:00 am (12:30 for me).... Ken's Dad and sisters who spoiled us and gave Ken the Wii, me a awesome Fire Kindle Touch and basically a sleigh of presents for the boys.

Nicolas loving every moment of it!!

Christian just getting started...with his Lion hat.

The Great Outdoors

Although we did not get much snow (flurries) the boys still loved going outside to play in the NY woods. During this trip I think one of my most memorable moments was the boys running down the hills as fast as they could laughing and squealing with delight. I can remember doing that when I was little and that free feeling with nothing but joy and the crisp outdoor air. Their faces had the biggest smiles and they would march back up the hill and run down, taking a few tumbles along the way.

Another thing I was telling Ken that I absolutely loved (growing up in NY we spend most of our time outdoors) is that when I am outside in NY I have zero fear of red ants, spiders or weird creepy Florida bugs and I wanted to be outside as much as we could on the hills. As we were kicking up the leaves and taking mini-hikes during this vacation, I was able to just be in the moment in the great northern woods. I guess I should of been on the look out for bears (seriously) but instead Nicolas and Ken had the joy of seeing a HUGE WHITE TAILED DEER up close as they walked quietly through the woods and stood still behind the trees. Some of the cool things we did was ice skating, mini-hikes, 4 Wheeling, running down the hills, riding the golf cart and of course some basketball. Although, I absolutely love Florida and wouldn't trade it, I sure miss the outdoors/ mountains of upstate N.Y!!