Cranky 10 For Tuesday..Er 13

Oh my lord am I a CRANK-ASS right now. I am posting hoping to vent and it will be gone. Let me just post why....please don't read if you don't want to hear my vent!

1.) I just got 3 resumes this week - yes I should be happy, feeling blessed and frankly right now I need to be writing them but I can not focus "intellectually" with this tornado going on in my brain. I am in what I like to call "Shut-down" mode.

2.) Kids kind of cranky from being in house so much because they have been sick. My kids are physical so that means they walk up to me and they will just push(headbutt) my butt, stomach, legs and try to get me to chase them when they need that physical activity. Not in the mood for that one today.

3.) I am sick, Ken is sick....

4.) I took some kind of cold medicine today, hoping it would help and it is making my mind race and I feel like a lunatic but I still want to sleep it off. Making me feel like I can't keep my head up and it is making me want to cry. I hate day time cold medicines, reason I never take them.

5.) Boys have watched way to much TV today but I really do not want to play at all today. I actually haven't been able to think of any activities to do with them and we are all just bored.

6.) I have been sleep deprived this week, I don't know how I ever did it when they were babies.

7.) My grandpa is in hospital and we found out he will never be coming home. Probably my biggest factor in being a crank-ass.

8.) I have to still pack for NY and get house ready and we have less than 36 hours. AND I still sit here and blog instead. Why? I am lazy today, pissed, sick, miserable, shut down mode and having a pity party.

9.) Our flight is at 6 am and I will have to be up by 2:45-3 am to get ready and get kids up...not wanting to do that.

10.) I don't feel like cooking today, cleaning, taking care of sick kids, working on resumes, getting house ready, bills paid before we leave, pack, wrap presents. Pity party. Have you just ever felt angry or pissy for no reason? That is how I feel ...well I have some reason. GRR!

11.) Kids only slept 40-45 minutes nap so I only got part of resume done and all 3 are due tomorrow...I just want to sleep. Each take about 4 hours to do, even longer when I can not think. Even with a double espresso coffee and 2 cups of regular coffee I can not imagine doing anything else but sleeping when Ken gets home or mindless things like doing this blog! Tomorrow is going to be insane.

12.) Painters didn't show up today for our house AGAIN. Double GRRR.

13.) I must say though, the kids are being sweet with "trying" to be good with all of us sick. Even with them cranky, I still want to lay on the couch and cuddle with them.

Going Fishing On The 4th of July!

Once again the boys had colds for a holiday. EVERY single vacation Ken has taken in the past 18 months the boys have gotten sick! Seriously! It is so weird, maybe God knows how challenging it is with two boys sick at once. Thankfully, on the 4th of July Nicolas was feeling better and we were able to go to Grandma's for the big family party. Uncle Dan and Aunt Colleen were in town so it made it even more special...plus we got to see baby Joshua ( my cousin Anne's son who is 8 weeks old- what a love bug)!!! Nicolas got to go with just me, so he loved being in the spot light!

Uncle Dan is know for his love of fishing and took the opportunity to take Nicolas and actually get that "BIG CATCH"!!!

Showing Nicolas how to cast... Reeling it in.....

The Big Catch...COCO the Cat!

Nicolas loving life!

Baby Joshua!

Mary Therese Reading "I Spy" to Nicolas...ohhhh the concentration!

Growth From Sickness

The boys got sick about 6 days ago and are still trying to get over it. I know most all parents have been through this in one form or another- having two get it at once at this age was somewhat scary and at times I didn't know what to do because sick children naturally want their mom. Having two wanting to be held, rocked, nurtured and soothed is something that I had to learn to do this week. However, I have to say: I saw the most remarkable things happen with my boys, my husband, family and friends. The things I learned this week will always be with me, making me that much better of a parent in the future.

• When you have a very sick child, NOTHING else in this world matters- NOTHING!
• When they get that first little " perk up" and smile again- you can honestly say you have never been happier in life.
• I learned with fevers that high- one of the things people say is to put them in a cool bath. This is actually not true because when fevers run around103-104 it can put them in a seizure. Best thing to do is wipe each arm, leg, neck, head, belly, back with a cool cloth and let it air dry to draw out the fever and reduce body temp.
• Having a great husband who will help stay up with you to try to figure out what will help your baby, as I tried to sooth was so so helpful and the kindest thing you can ask for in a marriage.
• Who cares if you have to call your doctor 10 times a day to ask questions, I got over feeling weird about that, seriously done with that. I realized these were my one in only children and I need all the help I can get through the doctors educating me on how to treat two little babies at once. They were wonderful about it.
• Keeping them calm (and yourself)- I learned when I had to hold Nicolas one night almost 24 hours straight, to calm him I sang soft lullabies I used to when he was a baby, prayed all through the night, and realized that GOD GAVE ME the strength, patience and courage to hold 22 pounds in my arms most of the night.
  
• Just having so many friends and family calling to check in and offer support and advice was what I needed to give me the confidence to help them.
• Take it minute by minute - because the next minute could be an entirely different issue.
  
• Get as much help as you can- when you can- at all cost!! Having Lou here most of the week gave me support and guidance. There were so many little things to help comfort the kids that I did not know and through her experiences, I just listened and tried them. Most worked and that was a true blessing.
  
• Being up all night-for almost a week straight--it doesn't matter!! Yes, your a complete zombie but I think God gives you the strength to get through it and your adrenaline naturally goes.
• Resorting back to the bottle and letting them sleep with you is fine for comforting and soothing them- who cares what the books say. Sick kids need soothing!
• Who cares about prior appointments and such ( unless emergency of course), be home with your kids- take care of them, they need you more now then ever.
  
• Last but not least...the best learning on how to be a good productive nurturing parent to sick kids DOES NOT COME FROM A BOOK OR INTERNET!!! It comes from life experience and educating yourself from others who has been there.
  

Now things I learned that I need to come up with a solution now that they are better:

• How do I stop giving them EVERYTHING THEY want ( which I did this week) especially now that I see those sweet smiles again!
• Going back down from 4 bottles a day to none!!!!
• How do I catch up on everything else?
• How do I "tame my germ phobia" which has kicked into super high gear!!!!! Grocery store carts, touching things, other kids, playground, swings....YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!!! Well, regardless I will overcome that, especially since all my best friends have children and we all know kids get sick!!! :)
  

So to all the parents out there- especially with twins- you can get through it- it is hard as heck- but with support in the house- you can do it!!!! The boys love each other so much and this really showed as they got better and were so happy to see each other to play. They slept in separate rooms while sick but even when they were at their sickest, I sensed they were still lost without each other.